This week I'm getting personal Reader.
I want to talk about something many of us experience but don’t always name: the inner critic.
For years, I thought my job title defined my worth. If someone had "Senior" or "VP" in their title, I assumed they were smarter, more capable, more everything than me. Even when I was the one in the leadership seat, a small, persistent voice inside me would whisper things like,
You're not good enough, or They're going to figure out you don't belong here.
Hello, imposter syndrome, self-doubt, lack of confidence....whatever you want to call it.
No matter how many wins I racked up, how much positive feedback I received, or how many times I was asked to lead, my inner critic was louder. It would discount my success and amplify every misstep. It was exhausting, disheartening, and honestly, it kept me playing small for longer than I like to admit.
But over time, and with effort, I learned how to turn that inner critic from a saboteur into a surprisingly helpful advisor. It wasn’t fast. It wasn’t easy. But it was transformational.
Here is the four-step process I used to shift that voice from adversary to ally.
Step 1: Name Your Inner Critic
It might sound silly, but giving your inner critic a name helps separate it from your true self. Mine? I named her “General.” General means well, but she’s all about control, perfection, and being on constant alert for failure. When I started recognizing that it was General's voice, not mine, I was able to create just enough distance to question what she was saying.
Try it. Pick a name that helps you identify your inner critic as a character, not your identity.
Step 2: Recognize What It's Saying
Inner critics often speak in vague, fear-driven language:
You’re not good enough.
They’re going to find out you have no idea what you’re doing.
You shouldn’t speak up. You might sound dumb.
When I started writing down these thoughts instead of just feeling them, I noticed patterns. My inner critic had a greatest-hits playlist on loop. Recognizing the repeat messages helped me prepare for them and eventually challenge them.
Step 3: Distinguish the Truth from the Lies
Not everything your inner critic says is false. But not everything is true either. That’s where the real work comes in.
I asked myself: What evidence do I have for this belief? What evidence do I have against it?
For example, if General told me I wasn’t smart enough to contribute, I would list all the times my ideas led to successful outcomes or when leaders sought my input. That helped me see the lie in the moment and build up new, empowering truths.
Step 4: Intercept and Reframe
The final, and ongoing, step is interception. When that old narrative starts playing, I don’t let it run unchallenged. I interrupt it and respond with a more grounded, balanced voice.
Instead of, You’re not good enough, I say:
You’re prepared. You’ve done this before. You bring value.
It’s not about blind positivity. It’s about telling the truth, not the twisted version my critic used to offer.
This process doesn’t make the inner critic disappear. Mine still pops up from time to time. But now, instead of letting her drive the car, I invite her to sit in the backseat. I might even say, Thanks for your concern, General. I've got this.
Turning your inner critic into an ally is possible, and worth every step.
This week, I invite you to name your inner critic. What do they say to you? What lies have they convinced you to believe?
Wishing you a week filled with clarity and courage,
Regina
P.S. If you know someone struggling with self-doubt, forward this email. You never know who needs a reminder that they’re not alone.
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A Little Bit About Regina
I'm Regina Taute (say Howdy Taute and you've pronounced it right) a seasoned talent leader with experience in leadership and organizational development. I started Collective Growth Coaching and Consulting to partner with organizations to develop wildly practical and effective talent strategies. As a credentialed coach and certified in MBTI and Hogan assessments, my passion lies in unlocking potential and driving sustainable growth by helping individuals and teams thrive in today’s evolving business world.
It would be my honor to join you for a complimentary 30-minute coaching session to help solve a current challenge with wildly practical solutions or to meet with you one-on-one to chat and get to know you.
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